Never Gonna Happen
by kaisalune
Summary: Wallace is in love. With Scott. Awkward... Especially when he shares a bed with Scott. Especially since Scott is going to propose to Ramona. ESPECIALLY since Scott isn't even gay. But when tragedy strikes for Scott, Wallace is there to pick up the pieces.
1. British Ultimatums

**So hey, I'm Ash. Please forgive me, I am no authority on Scott Pilgrim. Admittedly I have only seen the movie (which was freaking awesome) and only today purchased the first three volumes of Scott Pilgrim which I have not yet read. But anyway, in the film I was just sitting there going UH HELLO, RAMONA WHO? SCOTT AND WALLACE ARE MEANT TO BE. Haha ;) Also, Wallace is my favourite character, so I thought I'd write a fic about him.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: British Ultimatums<strong>

Wallace was hot, Wallace was single but, funnily enough, Wallace was not out finding some hot guy to share his and Scott's bed. Why? Quite simply, because he was in love. With Scott, to be more precise. He was in love with a guy who not only was currently head over heels in love with Ramona Flowers, but also who was not even gay in the first place. Wallace felt like congratulating himself – he had managed to fall in love with the one man who was absolutely never going to happen.

Wallace sat in his recliner, socked feet propped up. He was wearing his usual home get-up – shirt with boxers. Pants were not required, not in Wallace chill time. The newspaper was in his hands but he hadn't read a single word of the article. Well, he had noted _one _thing – apparently today was the one year anniversary of famous skateboarder and actor Lucas Lee. Wallace had once upon a time been infatuated with the man but now really couldn't care less (well, that and he turned out to be one of Ramona's evil exes.)

Wallace watched the door, waiting for misery to ensue. This was the day. This day right here. Scott Pilgrim was going to ask Ramona Flowers to marry him.

Scott had told everybody only that morning at band rehearsal. Ramona had had to work so it had given Scott ample opportunity to show everybody the engagement ring. Stephen, Young Neil, Kim and Wallace had been present. Wallace didn't often actually attend Scott's band practices but Scott had basically dragged him along promising a surprise. And surprised Wallace was. Even _Kim _had showed a little emotion which was really saying something as she was the epitome of sarcasm and boredom. Wallace had texted Stacey the second he'd seen the ring, of course. He couldn't not – it was like a disease. And everybody had been jumping around excited and nobody had paid Wallace any attention when he got up and left.

That was until Scott got back a half hour later.

"Wallace, what happened to you?"

Wallace had been lying spread-eagled face down on his bed. "Went home," he mumbled.

"I gathered as much. I'm going to go meet Ramona now." The nerves were easily detected in his voice.

Wallace rolled over. "Guy, relax. You'll be fine. She loves you."

"Yeah, but we have a tendency of breaking up like every two months." Scott shrugged. "It's only been like a year. Plus we're young. Ugh, maybe I shouldn't be doing this."

"Baby, please," said Wallace. "You were so excited about this. Plus once you two get hitched you can move in with her and I can finally reclaim what is ninety-nine percent mine anyway." He said it but he didn't really mean it – he wanted Scott to remain living here for a long time yet.

"Okay. Okay, yeah. And then maybe you won't be all depressed all the time," said Scott, pulling his adorably dorky hat over his shaggy hair.

"Depressed? I'm not depressed," Wallace attempted to argue.

"Uh huh. Ever since you became Single Mingle you've been moping about. Don't pretend I haven't noticed. But I know exactly what'll cheer you up."

"Enlighten me," said Wallace, turning onto his side.

"When Ramona says yes… oh, _if _she says yes… oh God, I've jinxed it. Wallace, I jinxed it!" Seeing Wallace's glare, however, he continued. "Uh yeah, so I want you to be my best man."

"Getting a bit ahead of ourselves aren't we?" said Wallace. He could think of nothing worse to cheer him up than standing beside Scott Pilgrim while he married Ramona.

"Oh God, you're right! She won't say yes."

As Scott freaked out, Wallace rolled his eyes. Scott was so incredibly insecure it was comical. "Just go."

"Okay. Okay. I'm going. Wish me luck!" said Scott, scurrying for the door.

Wallace didn't.

Now here he was, sitting in his armchair waiting for Scott to come exploding into the room bursting with excitement at the fact that Ramona was his fiancée. It seemed almost wrong – Scott had such a childlike quality about him Wallace was surprised it wasn't illegal for people like him to wed.

There was the sound of keys in the lock. Wallace tossed his paper aside and tried to arrange his face into a look of happiness for Scott. Apparently it wasn't needed – Scott flung the door open, looking extremely unhappy. He slammed the door, ran to the bed and fell onto it face down.

"Guy? What happened?" said Wallace in a soothing voice, getting up and sitting down next to Scott.

"She said no."

"What?"

"She said no."

"No, I heard you I just… Why?" said Wallace.

"She said she wasn't ready for marriage. She said she didn't want things to change from how they are now."

"So are you just going to stay… how you are then?" said Wallace.

"Nooo…" Scott groaned, rolling over and facing the ceiling. "I was stupid Wallace."

"That's expected Scott. What did you do?" said Wallace, a smile playing on his lips.

"I gave an ultimatum."

"Ugh! Scott, how many times have we discussed this? You shouldn't go _near _ultimatums, much less give your own," said Wallace. "What was it? Something like marry or break up?"

Scott sighed and closed his eyes as if remembering something particularly nasty. "I think my exact words were 'Join me in matrimony or _be gone_!' She didn't seem to find any humour in it."

"So you've broken up?" Wallace suppressed his glee at the thought, though he did like Ramona.

"I don't know. I was so embarrassed I ran out."

"You didn't even wait to hear what she would say after you said that?" said Wallace. "Can I just say Scott that you are a sad excuse for a social human being?"

"You can."

Wallace sighed and stood up. "I'll go make you something to eat. What do you want?"

"Garlic bread."

It was easy enough for Wallace to do – he just shoved it in the oven and then stood at the counter watching Scott. Scott looked extremely depressed and Wallace refrained from texting Stacey the details of Scott's somewhat pitiful proposal. He wanted to help Scott and Ramona, despite his own love. But Wallace knew he had to accept that it wasn't going to happen, and if Wallace couldn't be happy at least he could help Scott to be happy.

Apparently he didn't need to though – as he was placing a plate of garlic bread in front of Scott, the phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Wallace – is Scott there? He's not answering his phone." It was Ramona.

Wallace covered the phone and glanced at Scott, who was watching Wallace with anxious eyes. "Guy, where's your phone?"

"I may have thrown it into a large water body on the way home to avoid future embarrassment."

Wallace rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he's here. Wallowing in his own self-pity."

"Is he under the impression that we're broken up?" Her voice sounded upset.

"Honestly I don't think he really has a clue what's going on, as per usual. Are you?"

"No!" Ramona almost shouted. "No! I just said I didn't want to get married so early and then he started talking in a British accent and telling me to be gone and I got really confused…"

"A British accent?" Wallace snorted and Scott slid lower down on the bed, pulling the covers up over his head.

"Is it okay if I come over? I gotta talk to him."

"She's coming over," said Wallace as he hung up the phone. "You're welcome," he added, despite not really doing anything but laugh at Scott's expense.

"_What? _Oh God. What do I do?" Scott stuffed the rest of his garlic bread into his mouth and grabbed his dorky hat which had fallen off when he'd collapsed onto the bed, shoving it on. "I need a haircut," he mumbled through his mouthful of food.

Ramona was knocking at the door a mere four minutes later, and Scott attempted to casually walk over to the door. Wallace stood by his chair, a look of amusement on his face.

Scott pulled open the door. "Hello there Ramona."

Her hair, this week, was a vibrant shade of violet. She stood in her skates, goggles on her head, and attempted a smile. "Scott, I need to talk to you." She looked past Scott and noted Wallace. "Hey."

"Hello Ramona," said Wallace suavely. He turned and went into the kitchen and half-heartedly began cleaning up while really wanting to eavesdrop on Scott and Ramona. Scott had shut the door and Ramona was slipping out of her skates and tossing her coat on the ground. "Scott, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously?"

Scott shrugged. "I don't know…"

"You didn't even wait for me to answer you, you just ran like a scared little girl."

Wallace snorted loudly and a piece of garlic bread came sailing at his head, which he caught as it rebounded off his temple and took a bite. "Thanks Scott."

"Bitch," Scott said, but turned his attention to Ramona. "I'm sorry if it was too fast, I just love you and I thought maybe we could show our love through a ceremony…"

"I'm not one to settle down… like that," said Ramona uneasily. "I never really saw marriage as on the cards for me, especially not at this age."

"Not ever?"

Ramona looked at him. "Scott. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before. But this is just a huge deal for us – we're so young. So I was thinking about it and I just… I wondered if maybe we could give a long engagement a go."

"A long engagement? Like how long?" said Scott.

"Like… a few years?" said Ramona.

"But you'll wear my ring?" said Scott eagerly, fumbling in his pocket for the little ring box.

"Yes. I'll wear your ring. No, but Scott," she said, because he was beginning to jump up and down, "marriage is a long, long, _long _way off, you understand? But if it means so much to you…" She held out her hand.

"Sweet!" said Scott, and Ramona laughed as he slid it onto her finger. "I love you Ramona."

"I love you Scott," she said. They kissed, Ramona shoving the hat off Scott's head and running her hands through the shaggy hair, something Wallace very much wanted to do.

"I'll take that as my cue to leave," said Wallace, walking past them, grabbing his coat and opening the door. He paused for a moment, looking back at them – they were already stumbling towards the mattress. It hurt Wallace to see Scott like that, with somebody else…

He shut the door quietly after him and leaned his head against it, hearing Ramona and Scott giggling together, and a tear escaped from the corner of his eye.

He turned and walked off down the street, alone.

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><p><strong>Poor Wallace :( Anyway, feedback greatly appreciated! Oh, and just so you know, s'gonna get a little bit saddo coz somebody dies and I think we can all guess who from the summary. Poor Scotty.<strong>


	2. When Shit Happens, Scott Runs

**I wrote this pretty quickly so don't judge me if quality is down. But anyway. **

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: When Shit Happens, Scott Runs<strong>

Wallace returned home many hours later, admittedly a little drunk. He was grateful to find Scott and Ramona asleep, Scott's arm draped over her waist. Wallace was glad that Ramona was on the edge of the mattress, so that Wallace could slide under the covers on the other side of Scott.

"Hey Wallace," Scott murmured sleepily, rolling over to face Wallace with his eyes still closed.

"Hey buddy, you get some?" said Wallace.

"Uh huh. You can have your place back now."

"Very generous of you," said Wallace, smiling.

"You know me." He rolled back over and his breathing became slow and deep. Wallace lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Yes. Yes I do," he finally whispered.

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><p>Wallace woke up at noon the next day. Ramona was gone and Scott was uncharacteristically cooking, bacon it smelled like. And eggs.<p>

"Scott? Are you dying?"

Scott chuckled. "Haha. No. I figured I owed it to cook something for you since I'm moving out today."

Wallace felt cold all of a sudden. He stared at Scott who was humming as he brought the frying pan over to two waiting plates on the countertop. Scott was leaving _today? _He was moving out _today? _"Uh, Scott? Are you sure you can move that quickly? Don't you need to get your stuff together?"

Scott snorted. "What stuff? This is all yours."

Scott carried the now full plate over to Wallace and sat down next to him on the bed. He placed the plate on Wallace's lap and sat back to eat his own. "I hope you like crispy bacon."

Wallace ate in silence. Scott noticed. Damn Scott. "Somebody's depressed again," he said. "I thought you'd be happy to kick me out into the cold on my rear."

"I am," said Wallace. "I'm hungover, Scott, not depressed. When are you moving?"

"Well, I'm planning on moving my one pitiful box of clothes and crap when Ramona gets here at one."

One. A half hour until Scott moved out. Wallace hated himself for caring so much. It went against his entire passive nature. He just sort of went with the flow, made sarcastic comments about Scott's life, bada-bing bada-boom life was good. Now it had gotten all annoyingly complicated, at least in his own head.

"We should do something to commemorate this final chapter of our lives," said Scott ceremoniously.

Do something… one thing immediately popped into Wallace's head but he decided that it would probably be inappropriate to voice out loud. "What do you suggest?"

Scott shrugged. "I don't know. We don't actually usually _do _anything."

"We can just hang out here. That's what we always do," said Wallace, shrugging.

"Yeah. And play video games. I'll kill you dead," said Scott, going over to the TV. He tossed Wallace a PlayStation controller.

Twenty-five minutes later Scott stopped and got together his one box of stuff. It did look extremely pitiful sitting by the door but Wallace didn't comment. Instead he sat in his chair and attempted to read today's paper.

Twenty minutes passed and Ramona did not show up. Scott was getting increasingly impatient and anxious, pacing around and around until Wallace expected the carpet to wear away and show his tracks. He used Wallace's phone to try and call but she didn't pick up.

"Relax. She's probably gotten busy at work or something. Is she working today?" said Wallace.

"No."

"Oh."

They waited a further fifteen minutes until Scott began banging his head against the wall. "Scott – stop that!" he commanded. "Give me my phone, I'll call around."

He called Stephen, Young Neil, Kim, Julie and even Knives. Julie was the only person who had recently seen Ramona.

"She came into the video store, got some lame-ass movie for her and Scott to watch tonight. Did you know they got engaged? I mean what the hell…"

"Yeah, Julie. Do you know where she is now?" asked Wallace.

"No. Like I said, I saw her at the video store. It was like a quarter to one, she said she was going to head straight over to your place after she'd dropped the DVD off at her place. Why?"

Wallace hung up without replying. Being polite to the likes of Julie didn't really apply to him.

He turned to Scott who was watching him expectantly like a lost puppy. "She should be here by now," said Wallace, shrugging. "Maybe she got caught up."

By now it was two o'clock and Scott was checking Wallace's phone every thirty seconds. Finally there was a knock on the door and Scott sprinted for it. He flung it open and made an odd choking noise, and Wallace got up and went and stood behind him. There were two uniformed police at the door, one a young woman and the other a man in his thirties.

"Scott Pilgrim?" said the man.

"Uh, yes?" said Scott, not sounding very sure. He turned to glance at Wallace. Wallace had an intense feeling of dread and his heart pounded. He felt like he knew what was coming.

"Were you aware that you're Ramona Flowers' only emergency contact?" continued the male officer. Officer Ogden, said his name badge.

"I am? I guess… I mean, she's not really on speaking terms with her family… and we're engaged…" He seemed unable to piece his thoughts together properly.

"Could we come in Mr Pilgrim?" said Officer Ogden.

"No. Why? Where's Ramona? Is she hurt?"

Officer Ogden sighed. His face was full of sorrow as he met Scott's eyes. "Mr Pilgrim-"

"It's Scott."

"Scott. We are very sorry to say this but Ramona Flowers was hit by a car and was declared dead at the scene."

Scott was frozen. He didn't move nor speak. He began tilting backwards and Wallace placed an arm around Scott to keep him standing. "W-what?" he finally whispered.

"Witnesses say she was crossing the street when a car came around the corner and ran her down. It was a hit and run, so we are still searching for the person who left her dead at the scene. Is there anything we can do?" said Officer Ogden.

Wallace was at a complete and total loss. What the hell did he do? "No – it's okay… I-I got it," said Wallace.

"Are you a brother…?" said Officer Ogden.

"Roommate."

"Do you happen to have numbers for Miss Flowers' family?"

Wallace shook his head. Ramona kept that part of her life a secret, even to Scott. "No."

"Okay. We're sorry. Listen… we need… we need Scott to come down to the hospital and identify her body."

"Okay. We'll do that."

The two officers turned and left. Wallace slammed the door and hurriedly led Scott to his recliner – Scott looked like he was in shock. His eyes were wide and his face was pale. Wallace could only hazard a guess at what was going through the guy's head at that moment. The love of his life had just been killed. She had been alive and now she was dead.

"Scott? Talk to me," said Wallace.

Suddenly Scott's face crumpled. His shoulders began heaving with sobs. He fell forward into Wallace's chest and Wallace put his arms around the boy, stroking his hair and making soothing noises. _He was stroking his hair! _Yes, Wallace was finally touching Scott's hair, but he would have given anything to not have to be doing it, to rid Scott of the pure anguish and grief he was feeling.

Wallace grabbed his phone as Scott cried into him and called Stacey. She picked up after three rings. "Hey Wallace, I'm real busy, whatever Scott's done can wait."

"Stacey…"

He could hear her pause, listening to Scott. "Is that Scott?" she said.

"You have to come Stacey. Hurry."

Wallace hung up and pushed Scott up to look at his face. His cheeks were covered in tears and his face was full of indescribable pain. "Scott, what can I do? Tell me what I can do." Wallace's voice broke and tears came to his own eyes too. Ramona had become such a huge part of all of their lives… now she was to be absent from them forever.

A frightening thought hit Wallace. When Envy had broken up with Scott… he'd had a freaking meltdown. What would happen now? Would Scott become one of those suicidal people who only wanted to die once their loved one had perished?

There was a hammering on the door. Wallace was reluctant to leave Scott to answer it but put a box of Kleenex near him before running for the door. He stupidly hoped that it was Ramona at the door – they'd identified the body wrong, for some reason a random stranger had had Ramona's ID – but it was Stacey, obviously. He opened the door and there she stood. She came in and as Wallace shut the door said, "Shit, what's happened?"

She hurried over to Scott and fell to the ground beside the recliner. "Scotty? Shit Wallace I have not seen him like this since… ever."

"Ramona died," he said.

"What?" said Stacey, face aghast.

"She was hit by a car. The police asked Scott to identify the body."

"Shit," said Stacey again. Her eyes had filled with tears. "Scott-"

"She's dead," he wept. "She's dead. We got _engaged_. She was on her way to help me move out!" He pointed to the single box by the door and Stacey suppressed a small sob. "_I love her so much_."

"I know baby," whispered Stacey, cradling his head in the crook of her neck.

She looked at Wallace. Both had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation. Wallace mouthed at her, "hospital?" She shook her head and shrugged, looking close to tears herself.

Wallace's phone started ringing and he answered.

"Wallace? Why the hell isn't Scott answering his phone? He's supposed to be at band practice – he said he was going to move in with Flowers and then come over. That idiot is so not punctual."

"Stephen, he's not going to make it."

"Why the hell not?"

"There was an accident… can you call tomorrow maybe?" said Wallace, glancing at Scott.

"Dude, what? Is Scott okay?"

"Not really. It was Ramona. She got hit by a car," said Wallace quietly.

"And is she okay?"

Wallace was silent. Stephen let out a sound of disbelief. "Holy shit. Is this for real?"

"Stephen, seriously – call tomorrow."

"Should we come or…?"

"Stacey's here." Wallace hung up after that, because Stephen had a habit of bumbling along on the phone until somebody cut him off, which Wallace had just done. He went and stood above Scott and Stacey – she was rocking him.

"Scott…" Wallace _hated _being the one to have to say this. He didn't _want _to say this. He wished more than anything that he wasn't about to. But he had to. "Scott, you gotta go to the hospital."

Shockingly, Scott stood and clumsily wiped the tears from his eyes. "Okay. Yeah. Let's go." Wallace was surprised that Scott was so readily standing to leave.

"I have my car," Stacey offered quietly.

"Uh huh," said Scott, stumbling for the door. Wallace walked next to him, an arm ready in case Scott collapsed or something. Scott's hat was still on, but he walked right past his coat, reefing open the door and walking out into the frigid cold.

Wallace grabbed his and Scott's coat off the hooks by the door and followed him out. Scott had stopped at the curb and was staring at his feet.

Stacey got into the car and Wallace gently guided Scott into the back seat, sliding in next to Scott himself. The drive to the hospital was made in a horrific silence, an incredibly odd thing, especially when the three people in the car were Scott, Stacey and Wallace, who were not often quiet.

At the hospital they bundled Scott out of the car and into the hospital. Stacey stood at the directories board running her finger down the titles. Wallace grimly pointed to where they were after:

MORGUE – BASEMENT 1

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><p>"It's cold down here," said Scott in a horribly pitiful voice.<p>

"Put your coat on, Scott," murmured Wallace. Scott wasn't about to do anything, so Wallace stopped him and wrestled Scott's arms into the coat, buttoning it up for him. Stacey was watching with an odd heartbroken expression on her face but continued on.

There was a station a little way up the corridor. There was a male nurse standing rifling through some papers. He looked up at their approach. "Hi… I'm Stacey Pilgrim. This is my brother Scott. We're here about-"

"Ramona Flowers," he said quietly. "Follow me."

They followed him down the corridor some more until he turned left and entered a small, even colder room. Well, Wallace felt it was colder. Maybe it was because there was a body on the slab in the center of the room covered in a sheet.

Scott stood near the figures head and Wallace could see him swallow. Wallace had found himself carefully watching Scott's every move since they'd arrived down in Basement 1. Scott's fists clenching, knuckles turning white. The odd little shuffle steps Scott did. The way Scott continually blinked as if he was in a dream. How pale Scott was. The way his cheek twitched when the nurse had said: "Ramona Flowers." The hunched way Scott walked, as if he was in incredible pain. The tears in the corners of Scott's eyes now…

Scott's lip trembled as the nurse placed his hands on the top of the sheet, and Wallace's heart almost burst. Without thinking Wallace grabbed Scott's hand and squeezed it. Scott did not respond.

But then the nurse pulled back the sheet to the chest and Scott clenched Wallace's hand to the point that Wallace felt his hand would break – but he didn't pull away. Stacey had made out a choked noise and turned away. Wallace could only gasp and put a hand to his mouth, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Scott released Wallace's hand. He leaned closer to Ramona, as if unable to believe what was right in front of him. But it was her – Ramona: cold, pale and lifeless on a slab in a morgue. She could have been asleep had it not been for the slight blueish tinge to her pale skin as well as a huge bruise on her temple and a cut on her cheek.

Suddenly Scott backed away. He backed into the wall, stumbled over his feet, caught himself and ran right out the door.

"Scott!" Stacey screamed after him.

But he was gone.

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><p><strong>I really have no idea how identifying a body goes or going to the morgue so forgive me on any inaccuracies if you've been to one (sorry if you have). Anyway, I'll update soon. Peace out :)<strong>


	3. The Emotional Turmoil of Scott Pilgrim

**Next update. Please review guys, I love reviews :) Okay then. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I got the last three volumes of Scott Pilgrim today so I'll totally know everything haha ;)**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: The Emotional Turmoil of Scott Pilgrim<strong>

Wallace was sitting on the mattress in his apartment, his back against the wall. Stacey was sitting in his recliner looking extremely defeated. After Scott had sprinted from the hospital, Wallace and Stacey had attempted to search for him. They'd gone to all the usual spots and some unusual ones but after an hour of searching had given up. Wallace had called Scott's parents, who were going to fly back from Amsterdam immediately, and Stacey had called Lawrence, who was driving up overnight.

"Where is he?" muttered Stacey again.

Wallace didn't bother answering, just thought. When he and Stacey had returned to the apartment emotionally drained, it was to find Stephen, Kim and Young Neil standing outside in the cold. They had asked the same question as Stacey, but of course they had no idea. Eventually Stacey told them to drop by tomorrow – she said that when Scott came back he shouldn't feel too overwhelmed…

_If _he came back, Wallace had added in his head.

There was suddenly a fumbling on the door, the scratching of a key scrabbling around a lock, and finally Scott fell into the room. Wallace and Stacey had jumped up at the sounds and ran forward as Scott fell to the floor.

"Scott!" said Stacey, hovering over him. "What-?"

Wallace leaned down to help him up and wrinkled his nose – Scott smelled like gin, piss and cigarettes. "You drunk Scott?"

"_I don't drink_," Scott slurred.

Wallace supported Scott over to the mattress where he collapsed on his stomach and seemed to immediately fall asleep.

"At least he's sleeping," said Stacey softly. She glanced at her watch; it was getting close to six. "Should I stay…?"

"I'll cook you some dinner but there's no need to stay overnight," said Wallace. "You should get some sleep. I can take care of him tonight."

"You're a good friend Wallace," she said.

Wallace, not in the mood for actual cooking, heated some packet ravioli and sauce from a jar and served it. Stacey ate it ravenously and finished before Wallace was even halfway through. She sat on his recliner and he sat on the floor, both in silence. At one point Wallace felt Stacey watching him and he looked up. "What?"

"How long have you been in love with my brother?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't act dumb Wallace – you and I, we're close. It was hard to miss today."

Wallace had an internal struggle, wondering whether he should just admit it to Stacey. "I am," he said finally. "I know it's stupid," he said in a quiet voice, staring down at the three ravioli left in his bowl. "Nothing can ever happen."

"Oh Wallace," said Stacey sadly. "How long has it been?"

"I don't know. Months," muttered Wallace.

"Yeah – Scott told me he was worried about you. That you'd stopped bringing guys home. Have you honestly not had sex for months?"

"Stacey, really? I don't want to get into this," said Wallace, standing and taking his and Stacey's bowl to the sink. He stood there for a moment and stared at the running water until Stacey came up behind him and shut it off for him.

"Wallace," she said softly. He turned and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. After a moment's hesitation he put his arms around her too, and they stood together in the kitchen. "You give the best hugs, you know that?" she said when she pulled away. She picked her bag up off the floor and headed for the door. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, okay? Call me when you and Scott are up – I don't want to wake him up if he's sleeping."

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><p>It was about one in the morning when Wallace woke to a horrible sound. Scott was crying, curled up next to him in bed. His entire frame was shaking as Wallace groggily sat up.<p>

"Scott? Oh Scott," said Wallace softly.

Scott turned onto his back and tilted his head to look at Wallace. "I woke up and-and I thought it was all a d-dream," he whimpered.

Wallace felt like he was going to burst into tears. He sat and stared down at Scott and didn't know what to do. The cluelessness scared Wallace – he always knew what to do, always. Now suddenly he was at a loss.

Without thinking Wallace lay down next to Scott and put an arm around him. It was odd, Wallace and Scott cuddling in bed. The bed was shared for sleeping only. That was their rule. Or Scott's rule. But Scott's arm came up and he rested it on Wallace's forearm, his eyes closing. After a while his breathing slowed, the tears still glistening on his cheeks. And Wallace fell asleep holding Scott in his arms – even though it wasn't under the same circumstances he dreamt about.

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><p>The next morning Wallace woke up and found his arm stretched over an empty mattress. He sat up and looked around the room. Then he saw, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, the coroner's bag Stacey had carried back from the hospital. It was open and the contents were strewn over the floor.<p>

Suddenly he heard a clatter in the bathroom and retching noises. Wallace sat there, unsure if Scott would want him walking in while he was vomiting. Wallace waited, sitting on the mattress, and watched the door. Finally it opened and Scott came out with a stony, empty expression. It was frightening – Scott's eyes seemed to have lost the life in them, the cheekiness, the mischievous sparkle.

"Scott? You okay?" Wallace knew it was a horribly stupid question but he didn't know what else to ask.

"I threw up," he said, lying back down on the bed.

"You were pretty drunk last night," said Wallace.

"I don't feel hungover," said Scott. His voice was flat and devoid of feeling.

"But you just…"

"I don't think I was throwing up because of the alcohol," he said quietly. "I just feel so sick Wallace. I'm so sick."

Wallace felt like he was going to cry but swallowed the hurt he felt watching Scott this way.

"Can you throw that away Wallace? Just throw it away." Scott was pointing at the coroner's bag.

"You-you don't want any of it?" said Wallace.

Please, just…" Scott didn't even finish.

Wallace slid over to the bag and began putting the contents back in. He paused and picked up the engagement ring. "Scott – it's Ramona's ring. You don't want-?"

Scott made a choking noise and put his hands over his face. Before they were covered, Wallace saw a brief burst of grief in Scott's eyes. He placed the ring carefully in the bag and then picked up Ramona's cell phone. He saw, with shock, a small spattering of red on the screen. He dropped it hurriedly into the bag and stood, hovering with it in his hand.

"Throw it away," said Scott.

Wallace headed outside and bumped into Stacey. "Stacey – hey," said Wallace.

"I was getting worried – it's ten thirty. I thought he would wake early."

"Yeah. Listen. Can you can you keep this at your place?" Wallace held up the bag.

"Oh… from the coroner's." Stacey took it and together they walked to her car parked near the curb.

"Her phone… there's blood on her phone," said Wallace.

"Oh," said Stacey. She seemed to struggle for a moment with what to say. Finally she said, "It's been on the news, did you know? Her accident. And the search for the driver. There'll be a court case. The reporters, they've been interviewing witnesses on television." She opened the passenger door of her car and placed the bag on the seat before slamming the door shut again. "Hey, listen – Mum and Dad get in at five this afternoon."

"Oh. Do you want me to pick them up or…?"

"They're storing a car at the airport."

"And Lawrence? When's he get here?"

Stacey sighed. "Mallory went into labour."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. He felt like shit when he called. Didn't know what to do. I told him to go be with his wife – Scott's got plenty of people here and it's not every day your kid is born. Happened at a really bad time, though."

"What did? Ramona or the baby?"

Stacey made a weak, grim smile. "Depends how you're asking."

"So is he coming at all?" said Wallace.

"After the baby's born. I don't know whether to tell Scott – he'll want to go."

"You can't not tell him," said Wallace as they walked towards the front door.

Stacey snorted. "Oh really? Lawrence didn't even tell us straight away that he'd gotten _married_."

Wallace managed a smirk. It had been about ten months ago – Lawrence had married Mallory in a Las Vegas chapel without telling a soul. Eventually Stacey had found out, how Wallace wasn't sure, but boy did his parents throw a fit. Lawrence had never before mentioned Mallory as even a girlfriend, let alone a possible life partner. Within a month Mallory had gotten pregnant. As much as his parents didn't approve, Wallace knew that they were excited to have a grandchild, even though Lawrence was younger than Scott.

They went into the apartment. Scott was still on the bed. Stacey went over. "Scotty? How are you?"

Scott rolled over to face her. "I'm swell."

"Uh, so… Mallory's having the baby."

"_What?_" said Scott, sitting bolt upright.

"Yeah. So Lawrence won't be coming down, but he said he would be here as soon as possible, and for the funeral. And Mum and Dad are getting in later-"

"I gotta go see Lawrence – his kid's being born," said Scott, struggling up.

"Scott, he doesn't expect it. It's okay," said Stacey.

"I can't _not _go! This is a huge deal," Scott protested.

"Guy, what about everything here?" said Wallace quietly. "What about planning the funeral? What about sorting out Ramona's apartment?"

It stopped Scott in his tracks. "I-I…" He shook his head and walked past Stacey and Wallace. "I gotta go for a walk," he said, before leaving the apartment, coat and dorky hat in hand.

"Really? You think that'll make him stay? Planning the funeral and cleaning out his dead fiancée's apartment?" said Stacey.

Wallace sighed and sat back in his recliner. "He needs to do it."

Scott returned an hour later with a nose red from the cold. He stood in the middle of the apartment looking a little lost. Finally there was a knock on the door, and Wallace went to answer it, as Scott made no attempt to move despite being closest.

Wallace opened the door to a couple – middle-aged and pale. The woman was small with shaggy brown hair whilst the man was quite tall with a moustache. They were both wearing large coats against the cold.

"Uh hi… can I help you?" said Wallace. Stacey had come to the door to see and stood behind Wallace.

"Oh, uh, yes," said the man. "I'm Andre Flowers. This is my wife Janine. We're Ramona's parents."

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><p><strong>Another chapter done :) Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	4. Time to Grow Up, Pilgrim

**Okay, so I finished all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim this morning and realised that Scott and Wallace didn't even live together at the end and the awesome little apartment was no more. Which depressed me. Anyway, hopefully my little explanation of why they are living together again under such crappy conditions is good enough. Oh, and also, a small reference to Stephen being gay. Which is awesome :) I totally picked that.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four: Time to Grow Up, Pilgrim<strong>

Wallace and Stacey stared.

"Uh, does Scott Pilgrim live here?" asked the man, obviously thinking Wallace and Stacey had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yes, yes," said Wallace. "We're so sorry…"

"Come in," Stacey said quickly. She and Wallace stepped aside to allow the two to come in.

They looked around the apartment as Stacey shut the door. Wallace felt like he needed to offer some sort of explanation for the crap hole he and Scott lived in, but didn't. He liked it – it was home.

"Scott?" said Janine, stepping forward.

Scott swallowed and also stepped forward, taking Janine's hand. "Hello," he said. "How… how are you here?"

"The police got into contact with us," said Andre.

"It's so good to finally meet you Scott," said Janine, gripping his hand tighter.

"But… but how do you know who I am? Ramona said she never spoke to you…"

Janine frowned and looked down. "We were distant but recently… recently she bridged the gap. She told us all about you, Scott. And she emailed us the day before… before she uh…"

"She told us you were both engaged. I'm so sorry, son," said Andre.

"Ah… yeah… uh…" Scott ran a hand through his hair and Wallace noticed it was shaking.

"Do you want a drink or something Mr and Mrs Flowers?" Wallace hastily offered.

"No, thank you," said Andre. "We just… we needed to get acquainted, Scott. So that we can all plan the funeral."

Scott's eyes suddenly filled with tears and he angrily brushed them away. "I can't do this right now. I'm going to band practice." He left within ten seconds.

"We understand this is more painful for him," said Janine quietly. "He's had more time with her in the last year than we've had with her since she was seventeen. But she's our only child…" Her own eyes filled with tears and Wallace dreaded the moment he would have to comfort Ramona's grieving parents.

Luckily they decided to leave before any real tears could ensue, and Wallace and Stacey headed over to Stephen's to find Scott. Stephen answered the door with a troubled expression. "Oh. Good. You're here. Scott's a mess – he's acting way too nonchalant and it's freaking everybody out."

Wallace and Stacey followed Stephen inside. Kim was sitting behind the drums running a hand through her hair. Young Neil was on the sofa with Knives, and Joseph was sitting a little further away with an I-wish-I-wasn't-here-right-now expression on his face.

Scott was in the middle of the room, strumming out a bass line, but stopped when he saw Wallace and Stacey come in. "What are you doing here?"

"Ramona's parents are staying at the Lengley Hotel. They said to call when you were ready."

"Wait, what? Ramona's parents?" Kim was looking around with obvious confusion on her face. The others mirrored her expression.

"They dropped by to plan the funeral with Scott," Wallace explained. Scott had stopped playing and was now glaring at Wallace.

An uncomfortable silence lingered over the room. Finally Scott shoved his bass to the floor and walked towards the door. "I'm going to see Lawrence and you can't stop me, Stacey," he said.

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><p>"We can't let him go," Wallace murmured. "He can't put off Ramona's funeral, it's not right."<p>

"What can we do, tie him down and force him to stay?" Stacey hissed. "But you'll have to go with him. I have to be here for Mum and Dad."

"Can't you call Lawrence? Get him to convince Scott to stay?" said Wallace.

"He's not picking up. Having a baby, you know," said Stacey sarcastically. She watched Scott some more, who was shoving clothes into a duffel bag. "Do you reckon he'll need counseling eventually? I thought he'd be crying all over the place but instead he's some stony, angry guy."

"It's just an act," said Wallace. "He's just pushing his emotions away instead of dealing with them. So, in answer to your question, I will have to say yes. Unless he has some sort of emotional explosion in the next few days."

"Here," said Stacey, handing over her car keys to Wallace. "I am presuming you are still car-less."

"Other Scott is using it to visit his mum," said Wallace. "So thanks."

"Let's go," said Scott, zipping up his bag.

"Wallace is taking you – I have to wait for our parents. And explain to Ramona's parents why you're suddenly MIA." She said it softly but Scott still frowned at her words and pushed through the door.

"Drive safe," said Stacey, squeezing his arm.

Wallace had packed nothing and he realized as he slid into the driver's seat it was because he expected Scott to want to turn back a quarter of the way there. But seeing the stout determination on Scott's face, Wallace thought maybe he really ought to have packed a tooth brush or something.

The first hour was passed in silence. Finally Wallace said: "You okay?"

"Not particularly." The stoniness to his voice was still present and Wallace sighed.

"Can I do something to cheer you up?" Wallace asked, hoping to interrupt the silence.

"You can answer a question for me," said Scott.

"Shoot."

"Why did you break up with Mobile?"

"Not that one."

"Wallace."

Wallace wished very much he had never spoken. "It was just… time to break up."

"That is _not _an answer. It was weird. And why did Mobile get your place and you had to come and get a new lease on our shitty apartment?"

"So then when you went broke and lost _your _apartment I would be ready and waiting," said Wallace.

"Tell me what happened. You were totally in love with him. I know you were, despite the cavalier way you spoke about the relationship. Dude, you were living together."

Wallace sighed. "Okay, fine. I used to love him but then… I noticed someone else and I fell in love with _him _instead, and as much as I tried to push the feelings away and stay with Mobile I couldn't. So I fell out of love with him and we broke up and I got our old place back. Because no one else wants to live in craphole like that."

Scott was silent for a moment. "Did you tell Mobile you were in love with someone else?"

"I did."

"Did you guys fight?"

"We did. It was pretty huge actually. It wasn't really the fact that I had fallen in love with somebody else, though he was mad at me about that enough. It was that the guy I had fallen in love with is never gonna happen."

"Well who is it?"

"I don't want to say Scott."

"Why won't it ever happen? Is it Other Scott? Haven't you guys already slept together? I could have sworn you were best friends with benefits. Is it someone like Stephen? And you can't be with him because of Joseph? Who else do I know that's gay…?"

"See, that's the problem Scott," said Wallace. "The guy I love isn't even gay."

Wallace could feel Scott's eyes on him. "I had no idea Wallace. No wonder you've been so depressed. Are you still in love with him now?"

"Let's just drop it, okay?" said Wallace. "Anyway, my problems are nothing in the grand scale of things."

Before Wallace could glance over to see if Scott had given up his stony demeanor, his phone rang. Wallace put it on speaker so he could drive. "Hey Lawrence," he said, looking at the caller ID.

"Stacey got a hold of me – don't worry about coming! The baby's been born, it's a girl!"

"Really? A girl?" said Scott.

"Scotty. God man, I am so sorry."

"I'm an uncle?" said Scott over Lawrence's words. "What's her name?"

There was a pause. "Mallory and I talked about it… we thought, uh… if you don't like it we can change it but… Ramona. We wanted to name her Ramona."

Scott didn't speak. He stared at the phone. "Hey, Lawrence, can we call you back?" said Wallace.

"Stop the car Wallace," said Scott as Wallace pocketed the phone.

"Scott, why?"

"_STOP THE CAR WALLACE_," he shouted. Tears had overflowed and it was as if he was hyperventilating. Wallace pulled over to the side of the road and Scott got out and put his hands on his head. As Wallace got out he let out a scream that seemed to echo off the cold air, so cold it seemed solid.

"Scott!" said Wallace.

"Why the hell has this happened to me?" He was half shouting, half crying, his chest heaving. "Why the hell has Ramona been _taken from me_? Right when we were going to make a start at a new life! Right when she agreed to marry me! I don't understand!"

"I don't understand either," said Wallace softly.

"I love her so much. _So much_. And now I have to plan the funeral with her _parents _who I never even met when she was alive! She didn't even tell me she had started talking to them again!"

"Maybe she was just taking it slow, seeing how it went…"

"And I thought maybe," he spluttered, his words almost unable to decipher due to the tears, "maybe if I did normal stuff like go to band practice it would be just like she was out of town or at work. And that didn't work, so… so I thought maybe seeing Lawrence and the new baby would make me feel something, _anything_, but all I feel is this unbelievable pain in my chest. I feel sick all the time."

Scott fell to his knees and put his head in his hands, his shoulder racked with sobs. Wallace went over and sat beside him on the hard, frozen ground, and put his arms around him. "Nobody said losing someone was easy," he murmured.

"It's impossible," said Scott. "I can't even see how my life can return to normal."

At that point neither could Wallace. "It won't ever be _normal _normal again," he said. "But this event will form a new normality."

Scott sat back and wiped his tears on the back of his hand. He looked at Wallace. "You're always there for me Wallace."

"You wanna go home?"

Scott nodded and stood, sniffing. "Yeah. I have to, got some planning to do…"

"I can help you…"

"It's okay. You've done enough. Besides, I have to grow up sometime."

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><p><strong>I'm not sure how good I am at writing this griefy Scott. After the funeral I'm going to skip ahead a bit I think - I'll see how it goes. Maybe lighten up the mood a bit. Until next update :)<strong>


	5. Alone in my Head

**2 updates in one day, how amazingly good am I?**

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: Alone in my Head<strong>

The arrival of Scott's parents had not been easy for Scott, Wallace could tell. They hovered over him, hugged him and asked what they could do. After a while Stacey dragged them off and it had been just Scott and Wallace. Wallace had not slept a wink, and judging by how much Scott tossed and turned, he'd had a fitful night's sleep at best.

Now he had gone out to meet Ramona's parents at the restaurant in their hotel, and Wallace was sitting in his recliner, stuck with his own company, which at the moment was too angsty for his liking. Other Scott had dropped by with Wallace's car keys and had attempted to talk to Wallace, but Wallace had brushed him off and Other Scott had left. Wallace felt bad, pushing Other Scott away, especially when Other Scott was being so, well, affectionate towards him in light of bad times. However, Wallace knew that having casual sex with Other Scott was not going to make him feel any better about Actual Scott any time soon, despite Wallace telling Scott a while back when Ramona had left to stay at her dad's that casual sex was the way to go.

Wallace Wells was a hypocrite.

He was, really. He'd spent so long telling Scott how to live his life, giving him what he thought was good advice. Now Wallace was the one who hadn't had sex for months, who was busy being lovesick over someone who wasn't his to have.

What a hypocrite.

Wallace didn't like this. He wished he wasn't alone with his thoughts. Really, what good did thinking about his life do for him? It was so miserable at the moment it was pathetic.

Wallace attempted to distract himself by looking through the pamphlets that had been shoved into the mail slot that morning. He paused on one from The Happy Avocado before crumpling it and throwing it in the bin. Scott didn't really need to get distracted by obligation to back to work just yet. Stephen had cleared it with the boss – Scott could have as long as he needed. Scott might be somewhat obnoxious at the work place, but even _she _knew how head over heels in love Scott had been with Ramona. Well, still was. Death didn't really put love in past tense, did it?

It could if the love was only one way.

Whoa, dark, dark thought. Wallace rolled his eyes at his own melodramatic mind. The effect didn't really come off – he just felt miserable. Shit, maybe mindless sex _was _the way to go.

At least it would take his mind off the man he could never have.

Wallace found his phone and dialed Other Scott.

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><p><strong>Short one. Just Wallace. Poor Wallace :( I'm making myself sad!<strong>


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